The Real Housewife of Nigeria, episode 11

The one about brain tumors and mold

Welcome to episode 11: the one about brain tumors and mold

Only days before finding out my mom had a “larger than a lemon” size brain tumor, I had talked with one of my friends about my relaxing plans for this summer.  We agreed it would be nice, and I quote, to have an “unencumbered summer.”

A month in, I can officially say this summer has been very encumbered.

According to the Cambridge dictionary the definition of encumbered is “prevented from making quick progress by having to carry heavy objects or deal with important duties and responsibilities.”  This is accurate.  Or as one of my friends put it, “did you sign up for the advanced level of adulthood this year? Send that subscription back, it’s complete crap.”

The best and most important news, is that my mom’s brain surgery went “on the favorable side” per the neurosurgeon and she is expected to make a full recovery.  This is amazing and we are so grateful.  

The downside is that recovery from open brain surgery doesn’t pair well with 3-year-old tantrums and constant demands for chocolate milk refills. Thus, the boys and I abandoned our original plans of staying with my parents for several weeks of summer in leu of wondering somewhat aimlessly around Texas in various air bnbs.  This has its perks, like getting to spend quality time with them and it has its downsides, like having to rescue Ray from Teddy’s attempt to strangle him in the pool, and swearing to the Sonic drive through girl that they do both have whoopee cushions.

At Slow Pokes our favorite Houston based coffee shop

These challenges, bad karma or whatever we are subject to this summer, apparently didn’t think the tumor was enough, because, surprise, our Houston house has black mold.

This means, our renters had to leave (temporarily for a few weeks) and we have to tear apart a lot of our 4 year-old house, which we bought directly from the builder and have owned for all of 2.5 years.  This also means parting with a lot of money.  When we dreamed of what we would do with what we saved in Nigeria, remediating mold was not on the list, not even at the very bottom.

If it wasn’t for a recent security-notice email regarding the rise of kidnappings in Lagos and all the glorious Chik-fil-a nuggets we’ve been blessed to be able to consume here, I would say this summer has me missing Nigeria. Almost.  Apparently, things can go horribly wherever you are.  This is an unfortunate truth of the human condition.

The similarities between brain tumors and black mold aren’t lost on me.

They both enter quietly and can grow undetected for years before making their monstrous presence known.  They both can be detrimental to health.  They both bring destruction wherever they are dwelling.  They both have to be fully removed, whether that takes open brain surgery or opening up many walls and almost a full ceiling of a house.

This summer I wanted unencumbered, but instead I got an urgent memo regarding how fragile and unpredictable life is.  It’s tempting to lean into paranoia (what else is growing somewhere that is going to ruin our lives?) or despair.  But there’s beauty in hard places too, and since I’m already here, I might as well notice it.

The Bible calls us to be the hands and feet of Jesus and it’s beautiful when humans come together and do just that.  Many of you prayed and sent well wishes for my mom, thank you.  I was shocked to learn that at least 3 of you on my email list know someone personally who has recovered from a meningioma (all successfully, too).

My parents had so many people bring them food and do kind favors for them.  Someone even brought several Costco boxes of apple sauce, fruit snacks, string cheese and juices since they knew my boys were going to be in town.  We had so many kid snacks, I ended up donating a few boxes to a friend.

The day of my mom’s surgery, one person brought Whataburger to the hospital for all of us while we waited, and another brought us magazines, “in case we got bored.”  Several people just came just to sit with us.  Sometimes sitting with people is one of the kindest things you can do.

I’m also amazed we have the technology, resources and a person with training to remove a bigger than lemon-sized tumor from inside a person’s skull and restore their well being.  What a miracle.

On the Houston house front, as much as we don’t want to pay for extensive mold remediation efforts, we’re grateful we can.  And while we’re talking about silver linings, I’ve learned a lot about how an AC system works and how ducting runs all over the house and is the worst thing ever to rip out. 

Cool.

On a much lighter note:

Mine and the boys Texas activity list has been as follows: we went to our first Astros game as a family and Ray was beside himself, the Houston Zoo, Houston Natural History Museum, Shot of Art, The Color Factory, and we spent a weekend at Galveston Beach.  In the hill country we went to this air bnb on a farm that I cannot recommend enough, because it was so cute and we got to pet the goats and donkeys daily.  We also went to Pedernales State Park and Dreamland in Dripping Springs (where Ray wore me out playing pickleball).  I would recommend all these places and have them linked.  I’ve even managed to squeeze in seeing a few friends on these trips which has been the best.

The boys at Shot of Art Houston

Go Stros!

I know you signed up for this email under the guise that it’s about our lives in Nigeria.  Soon enough, I’ll be sharing more stories from Lagos.  For today, just know that CJ recently flew to Dubai for a work training and the Lagos airport customs lady (a government official) begged him to bring her back chocolates and a cell phone.  She went on and on with this request before finally giving his passport back so he could get to his flight. 

Rest assured, Nigeria hasn’t changed much since we’ve been gone.

In conclusion, and in utter gratitude that my mom is well, I’m sharing this quote from Mary Oliver, 

“It is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world.”  

Amen.

Nigerian Education Moment:

People often ask me if I like the Nigerian food, but honestly, for the most part, I don’t. I wish I did. It’s very spicy and they eat a lot of seafood, which I don’t like even in America. But one of the dishes that I do like and that Nigeria is most famous for is jollof rice. This is a type of rice cooked with tomatoes, onions garlic and sometimes other spices. Typically the rice is boiled with the tomatoes/tomato sauce and spices. It’s usually served with chicken and it’s pretty good.

Ways to Pray:

Please pray for my moms continued healing and that our house can be back to being a normal, mold-free house soon.

Until next month, cheers y’all.